Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
