i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
