What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize