Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
