i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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