Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
