I love black thongs
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
