i think my mom watched the whole time
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
