you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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