Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
