yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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