my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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