Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
