You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize