Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
