oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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