Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
