I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
