Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
