if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize