I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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