This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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