Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm gonna fight the coyote
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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