okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
