Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
