Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
