Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't deserve a penis
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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