it was like his penis was on wheels.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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