Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
