i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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