pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize