Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
