Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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