Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
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I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
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Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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