i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
