So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Randomize
