A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
