ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
