So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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