I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
