So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize