Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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