I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How does one acquire holy water?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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