She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
