At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize