Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
