Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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