Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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