I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
