we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
