i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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