K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
