The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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