So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
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Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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