You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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