Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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