It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
