i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
