Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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