I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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