I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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