Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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