glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
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I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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