Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
