I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
