i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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