He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You were trust falling into bushes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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